I think it’s time for a new reality TV show. Coming from me that’s pretty funny, as I have never watched a full episode of reality television. No Survivor, no Idol, no Ducks, not a one. Happy to say that one of my favorite Iraisms is that “reality TV is the one of leading causes of the death of creativity in America.”
Here’s the premise of my reality TV show, which I call Vaccination Island. It’s a dystopian view of a world where anyone who refuses to get your standard vaccines is sent to live among other like minded non-vaccine loonies . If you are born today and your family says no shots for you, than off you go…and take mom, dad, and all your siblings with you.
Immediately after your refusal to get your vaccines, your entire family is shipped to an island, any island, as long as it’s far away from me and the rest of the vaccinated world. No more trips to the mall, no more supermarkets, and especially…no more trips to Disneyland, the epicenter of all things Mickey, Minnie and measles.
Here you will be free to live your life, free of vaccines, and safe in the knowledge that you have eliminated the one in one million chance of being diagnosed with autism, or some other extremely rare side effect that vaccines may or may not cause. You can also be safe in the knowledge that tens of millions of human beings, who have had their vaccines, can now spend their daze not worrying about getting measles, mumps or some other preventable disease.
Of course, no reality show is complete without a great host and we’ve got the perfect person….Jenny McCarthy. She’s not only the host of the show, she’s the host of the whole damn island. It’s the starring vehicle she’s always wanted, and now, so richly deserves.
But wait…there’s more. Jenny will also be the island’s very own vaccination therapist, convincing you that you did the right thing for you and your family. Screw society and the millions of people who had got their shots. What does the rest of the world know that Jenny, fresh from receiving her VHD (that’s Vaccination Hypocrisy Degree) from DLU (that’s D List University), that she doesn’t know? And now that she’s got her degree, she’s hanging out her doctor’s shingle. Or should I say shingles?