Do You Really Need an Ear Vacuum?

By a show of hands, how many of you have seen the commercial for the ear vacuum?  You know, The WaxVac. This thing is so strange on so many levels I don’t know where to begin. First, the thing looks like a tiny weenie itsy bitsy little vibrating woman pleaser. Now I’m mean really small….think George Costanza running around screaming “shrinkage, shrinkage!” Small or not, completely phallic to me and not to be confused with the shake weight. For my thoughts on that baby you need to check out an old IraSez post:

Now let’s talk about the guy in commercial who sticks the Q-Tip in his ear and screams “Ow” so loudly and so completely over the top. I don’t see a Clio in this guys future (FYI, Clios are given out for creativity in advertising).  However, I do think his “ow” could possibly be used as the universal “ow” for all future audio needs.  Ever notice how the growling/grunting sound Arnold Schwarznegger makes in almost every movie sounds the same in almost every movie? I’m pretty sure they take it from on of the Conan the Barbarian movies and have been using the same sound bite ever since. This guy is the Arnold of “ow.”

Than there’s the whole sucking things out of your ear thing going on. Do you really want a little vibrator type thing sucking inside your ear?  Besides, vibrators and sucking things are best used on other parts of your body (sorry, couldn’t resist the fall into the gutter on that one).


About IraSez

I am the owner of Monarch Communications, a graphic design/advertising/website design firm in Millburn, NJ. You can take a look at some of our work at I started IraSez at the urging of my wife, a couple of friends and several facebook friends who actually encouraged me to write a book. They think I'm funny but some of my latest blogs have covered some rather somber topics. In my spare time, I run the local SU alumni club. I'm in the 9th year of a 3 year term or as us SU grads called "fuzzy math." I'm SU '82, wife is SU '83, daughter is SU '11, son is SU '14, even my nephew goes to SU. So yes, we bleed Orange. I like to play golf, watch the same movies over and over, and take long walks with my dog on the trails in South Mountain Reservation behind Old Short Hills. If you see a guy wearing something with an SU logo chasing after a dog named Cosmo, that's me!
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One Response to Do You Really Need an Ear Vacuum?

  1. ArleneG. Bluestone says:

    Dear Ira: My name is Arlene Graff Eisen Bluestone and I’m an SU alum. I may have met you several years ago at one of the NJ/NY regional meetings that were held at Lubin House. I know that I met Brian there. I was a member of Phi Sigma Sigma sorority which used to be on Euclid Ave. and my former husband, Lenny Eisen, also an SU alum, was a member of ZBT. I was on the alumni board of directors for three years and when my term was up, I decided I wanted to stay connected to SU so I researched all the alums who lived in Monmouth County (which is where I now live) and was amazed to discover that there were about 1,000. I sent as many letters as I could asking people if they would be interested in forming an SU alumni club at the Jersey Shore and was very encouraged when I received several responses. And so the Jersey Shore SU Alumni Club came to be. We struggled at the beginning but we were encouraged by Lil O’Rourke who worked in the alumni office at the time (and actually flew down and spoke at our opening meeting). I became the first president and we started out with high hopes but we just couldn’t keep it going for reasons I won’t go into now. We finally had to disband and I’ve regretted that since.
    I should also tell you that my son, Michael Eisen, is a Newhouse graduate and works for the football Giants as their internet editor ( I feel as though I don’t have any reasons anymore to drive up to SU but just know there are many of us out there who still follow SU activities, root for the sports teams and I for one, will always love my school and the years I spent there.

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