So, I spent this past weekend checking in on my dad and seeing how things are in the Jewish Virgin Islands, a.k.a. Palm Beach County Florida. Here’s some random tidbits.
Bad Lounge Singers
The past 2 trips to the JVI, we’ve gone to Seasons 52 in Bocaaah for dinnaaah. Nice restaurant, good food, bad lounge singers. This Sunday’s featured act sounded like a bad Randy Newman (Short People, I Love LA). In October, we caught a really bad rendition of Adele’s “Rolling In The Deep.” This past weekend it was “Set Fire to the Rain.” Oh….my….gawd! New rule – lounge singers are forbidden to sing Adele songs. Only Adele should sing Adele songs, especially when you sound like Randy Newman. And don’t get me started on his rendition of a Michael Jackson song.
The Land of Expressionless Faces
At dinner on Saturday night, there were 3 ladies sitting at the table to my back. Forget the dyed hair, forget the lifted eyes, forget the puffed lips but what I cannot forget is the fact when they chewed, talked, or did anything with their faces, their cheeks never moved. Like they were made of titanium or something.
For many years I used to go on a golf trip to Las Vegas, the land of new uber boobs. I used to tell my friends I’d like to walk around with a t-shirt that said “Those Cannot Be Real!” I’d like to do the same thing in Florida but with so may folks having so many new parts (inside and out), I’m not sure anyone would know what I was talking about.
The Bathroom Valet
Had lunch at JBs in Deerfield on Saturday. Nice spot, enjoyed the bikini clad ladies playing beach volleyball (theirs’ looked real by the way), your typical beach side restaurant. So why in the hell do these folks feel they need a bathroom attendant? Why does anyone need a bathroom attendant. I don’t like them and I don’t like the feeling that they are staring at me, waiting for me to finish my business just so they can hand me a paper towel. No thank you.
Proper Restaurant Behavior
I think we need to go back to a time when certain restaurants had a code of conduct for their customers. I hate to sound a bit stuck-up but I think customers should expect a certain level of behavior at a nicer restaurant when you are paying a nice price for a nice meal.
First, no infant seats. You know what comes in an infant seat? An infant…and you know what infants do at a restaurant when they realize no one is paying attention to them? They cry. For fifty bucks a head, no crying.
And how about a dress code? Ladies, no hoodies…especially if you are over 30. For an hour or two you can grow up and live the hoodie to your daughter. It’s probably hers anyway. As for you guys, those cargo shorts and baseball hat that you think makes you look like some sort of gangsta rapper? Dude…you’re white, you’re in Bocaaaah, and you’re 10 year old daughter thinks you look like an idiot…and she’s right!