I have a confession to make. I am not a morning person. There, I’ve finally admitted this publicly. Actually, it’s really no big secret. Linda will tell you I’m one lazy shit when it comes to crawling out of bed most every morning. Hey, it’s not like I commute into the city. Sleeping late is one of the many benefits of having your office 2 miles from you house.
Anyone who has ever heard one of my many Iraisms knows that my favorite one is “There used to be 3 things that got me up before dawn: Skiing, golf and sex. Now there’s only golf.” Unfortunately, middle age has added a new twist to that statement. It’s now golf and my bladder. Most nights (or mornings depending on how you look at things), right around 4 or 5 AM, the urge hits, I stumble out of bed, into the bathroom, relieve the urge and stumble right back into bed.
Lately, this is where the trouble begins. Getting to sleep at night doesn’t seem to be an issue but getting back to sleep after the late night/early morning jaunt to El Juan is. Toss, turn, toss some more, look at the clock, turn some more, side, back, front, upside down, look at the clock, again. It’s like something a well choreographed scene out of A Chorus Line – Step, kick, kick, leap, kick, touch…Again!
Now the problem is I not only do I now I’m going to wake up but now I worry about getting back to sleep. I even worry about getting back to sleep before I go to sleep in the first place. And when I do wake-up, my head spins round and round like a top. Work stuff, ideas for client projects, am I going loony, what should I write my next blog on and why don’t I write more often, is this male menopause, I wonder how my folks are doing, I wonder how my kids are doing, I wonder what the hell I’m doing up at this hour and how does Linda sleep through my all this?
I guess this is just another one of life’s phases that is now part of the nightly routine. I really preferred it when sex was one of the options of that “got me up before dawn.”