Doggie Bag

As many of you know, I make no secret about things that bother me when it comes to air travel. Boarding procedures, carry on luggage, folks who probably should buy 2 seats, whatever craziness that comes with being on a commercial airplane.

Yesterday, Linda and I were traveling back home from a long weekend visiting my folks in the Jewish Virgin Islands, a.k.a. Palm Beach County. While we were in the boarding area waiting to get on the plane, a woman at the next counter was carrying on an animated conversation with the gate attendant. I couldn’t hear what she was saying from that distance but I could hear a little, yippie yappie dog making plenty of noise. If you were watching, it almost appeared that the woman’s voice was in sync with the dogs, which made me smile inside and gave me an idea for a blog post, just wasn’t sure what I was going to do with it. It didn’t take much longer before I had my answer.

After several minutes of chewing the gate attendant’s ear off, the woman was escorted from the gate by airport security. By the way, airport security was walking around with a labrador retriver, a real dog who was very well behaved.  Anyway…as she passed us, I saw that it was her little, yippie yappie dog that was actually making all that racket and that she was carrying the dog in some sort of shopping bag….a doggie bag. She (the woman, not the dog) was barking (yes, I know) at the security guard the whole time she walked next to him. It was from this one sided conversation that I was able to determine that the airline had informed her that she couldn’t carry her doggie in the bag on the plane. That she needed an approved airline kennel carrier that would fit under her seat as with any other piece of carry on luggage. From the tone of her voice, it sounded like this all had come to news to her.

Now, I have questions about this whole episode:
1. How the hell did this woman get through airport security without her dog in the proper container?
2.  Why would this woman think that she could carry her dog onto a plane in a shopping bag?
3. What happens when a dog needs to take care of business while flying? Now that I think about it, I’m not sure I really want the answer to that one.
4. Why is that it’s always the little dogs that make the most annoying little yaps, yips and yelps? I’m sure there were more than a few folks in the terminal that just wanted that yappie little bitch to shut up….I mean the dog….not the woman…well maybe both.


About IraSez

I am the owner of Monarch Communications, a graphic design/advertising/website design firm in Millburn, NJ. You can take a look at some of our work at I started IraSez at the urging of my wife, a couple of friends and several facebook friends who actually encouraged me to write a book. They think I'm funny but some of my latest blogs have covered some rather somber topics. In my spare time, I run the local SU alumni club. I'm in the 9th year of a 3 year term or as us SU grads called "fuzzy math." I'm SU '82, wife is SU '83, daughter is SU '11, son is SU '14, even my nephew goes to SU. So yes, we bleed Orange. I like to play golf, watch the same movies over and over, and take long walks with my dog on the trails in South Mountain Reservation behind Old Short Hills. If you see a guy wearing something with an SU logo chasing after a dog named Cosmo, that's me!
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4 Responses to Doggie Bag

  1. Lizzie says:

    As someone who travels with her little dog, I disagree that little ones are the only ones that yap!! As I sit here in my apartment, it is the large dogs that I can hear on the street. I also think that the airlines treat pet owners and their pets like trash. My little dog makes no noise at all on the flights as opposed to the screaming babies and drunk passengers. She minds her own business and is fully aware that she will not be relieving herself while we are in flight. The airlines charge $200-300 to be allowed the privilege to cram a little pooch under the seat! Babies that kick the seat backs and scream ride for free! The personnel at the Palm Beach Airport are especially nasty to dog owners and have even questioned the rights of therapy dogs. Ira, I’m disappointed in the side you have chosen ;(.

    • irasez says:

      As the person who got me into this blogging thing, I’m glad to see you still read it. As for sides, I didn’t pick one. I simply reported what occurred and asked a few questions. The fact is her dog was a little yippie yappie dog. The last time our 2 dogs were together, let’s just say that it wasn’t Cosmo making all the noise despite her obvious size advantage.

  2. Anything I say would be way over the line, political-correctness-wise. I did enjoy your post, especially the JVI reference. Unfortunately, reality comes as news to most Americans these days, as they get their news from American Idol or Steven Colbert. Both entertaining sources to be sure, but not really reliable news outlets. Keep writing Ira!

  3. Lizzie says:

    Of course I read your blogs, I just think that you could be less grumpy in your presentation. The point isn’t my cute “little” dog (you should know Cosmo said some not nice things that you didn’t hear.) While I do believe that rules must be followed, there are appropriate ways to convey them. Palm Beach Airport is an incredibly hostile zone for dogs. I have heard the elderly “airport ushers” actually threaten that the police dogs will kill visiting dogs should they be out of their carriers!!! How would you feel if you had no where to leave Cosmo and she was treated like contraband? The security people obviously felt this dog was being carried appropriately, and maybe the airline personnel were out of line? The only reason you hear little dogs is that big dogs are made to fly as cargo which is entirely unfair!!

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