Life is full of bodily functions that often happen at the same time. The most well documented of these are the “shart” where you think you are farting, but a little shit comes along for the ride. Never a good thing.
About a week ago, I fell victim to one of those combo moments. When I realized that I wasn’t aware of the proper name for this combo function, I decided to name it myself. Ladies and gentleman, I give you the “peeze.” There are actually 2 different types of peezing, strictly based on which sex you happen to be. For the male, peezing usually occurs when you sneeze while you are peeing. When this happens to a guy, it can be quite a mess but nothing a little toilet paper can’t wipe up. For the female of the species (or so I’ve been told by highly place sources that wish to remain anonymous), the peeze usually happens in reverse – you sneeze first, which makes you pee. Sort of like a shart but just the other end of things. Still a mess which requires a bit more than toilet paper to clean up.
At the time I thought of the peeze, I was so pleased with myself for coming up with that, I came up with another one – the “piggle.” Piggling seems to a uniquely female experience, which I have had the unfortunate experience of witnessing on multiple occasions and by more than one piggler (again, strictly anonymous here). The piggle occurs when a lady giggles so hard that she pees. In other words she laughed so hard she peed in her pants. In extreme cases, not only does the piggler wet her pants, she also wets the surrounding environment, usually where she sits such as a chair or perhaps the a seat in a car (not that I’m citing specific examples that I’ve witnessed, just something I may have run across in conversation). Now before my wife shoots me, I have to tell you that these extreme piggling events have not been Linda. When I make fun of my wife, you all will know it. She does!