Not sure why but I have never really gotten any inspiration at the gym…until a couple of nights ago, which was a particular good night for my warped sensibility. It started right when I walked in to the fitness center at the JCC. I start all my workouts by stretching my calves on a calf stretcher that is usually placed by a bank of ellipticals. While I was stretching, I noticed that the man working out on the elliptical was wearing a toupee that was flopping up and down in the wind, sort of like Donald Trump’s hairpiece at the Monday night football game in New England back in December. Not sure what I mean? Take a look: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufe4TjmyMUI
I did my best to contain myself from laughing out loud (which I did) but that doesn’t mean I can’t tell you all about it (which I am).
After a few minutes stretching, I hopped on a treadmill. About a minute into my workout, I noticed that someone had a pretty nasty case of body odor (I kid you not). My first reaction was that it was me but a quick spot check let me know that I was not the offending person. I was hoping that it was just someone who had walked by but the smell wasn’t going away and I noticed that the BO had a slight cumin aroma, almost like being in a NYC taxi with a driver playing music from some 3rd world country where the cumin seems to ooze out of their pores. A quick look around me let me know that the young woman next to me was indeed the source of my olfactory discontent, so I made a quick dash to another treadmill and my nose was very happy.
So now I’m doing the treadmill thing, when this scraggly gray haired guy walked by me. He looked like something right out of the hippie commune residents guidebook complete with blue jean cut-off shorts, old school canvas sneakers and a white t-shirt that said something about some far left leaning cause (not that there’s anything wrong with that). A couple of minutes later, I noticed that he was doing some old style calisthenics, which immediately brought on some serious Baker Hill Elementary School gym class flashbacks (with a major shout out to Coach Moss). I’m talking jumping jacks, squat thrusts and a few other exercises I haven’t seen in over 30 years. Again, I did not burst out laughing but I was laughing on the inside.
So, that was my night at the gym. Pretty sure that some day soon (if not today), some young muscular stud will look at me, attempting to lift weights, taking my leisurely stroll on the treadmill and desperately struggling to keep my gut from falling over my waistline, and he will be laughing on the inside. Let’s just hope I’m not the inspiration he’s been looking for for his next blog post.