Left lane dick

In the past week, I have done a lot of driving. Last Friday we went to Buffalo via Syracuse than back home on Sunday. Technically, I didn’t do the driving as my friend Barry handled those duties but I did ride shot gun the entire time, which gave me plenty of time to observe. Last night, I drove up to the Berkshires for dinner with an old camp friend as we were both picking up our kids today from camp. After picking up my son this morning, the drive home.

All totaled,  4 days of driving covering 5 states and over 1000 miles. I can state without question that left lane dick syndrome has run amok on the roads of America. For those of you that don’t know what I mean, a “left lane dick” is someone who puts their butts in the left lane and stays there defying one of the primary rules of driving:  Pass on the left, drive on the right.

Driving up to the Berkshires last night on the NY Thruway, I’m pretty sure I passed as many people in the right lane as I did in the left. Admittedly, I can have a heavy foot but I passed many of these people who were in the left lane barely driving the speed limit…if that. My opinion is if you driving 75 or even 85 in the left lane and the right lane is open, move over and if I’m coming behind, than move the fuck over.

Left lane dick knows no borders. I encountered dick in all 5 states traveled over the past week. There were dicks with license plates from 2 countries, at least 3 provinces, and more states than I can remember, some as far away as Alabama, Florida and Montana.

I have a lot of complaints about the way folks drive and the things they do while driving.  I’m sure if someone followed me while I was driving they would have a thing to two to say about they way I drive (just ask my wife and she’ll be happy to give you her list). I drive to fast…sometimes; overly aggressive….sometimes; and I have been known to show borderline road rage mentality…but very, very rarely. Do something to piss me off and I have been known to ride my car right up your ass until I can see the whites of your eyes but I am not a left lane dick. I pull over to the right lane as soon as it’s possible. If I’m doing 80 and the guy or gal behind me wants to do 85, than over I go. As a matter of fact, some blue haired little old lady did just that Thursday on the NY Thruway. Was quite shocking to tell you the truth.

I have often stated that I’d like to have a sign in my car that I can hold up while passing someone in the right lane. It would say “You’re a left lane dick.” That or “Your mama’s a Hoya.” Depends on my mood.


About IraSez

I am the owner of Monarch Communications, a graphic design/advertising/website design firm in Millburn, NJ. You can take a look at some of our work at www.MonComInc.com I started IraSez at the urging of my wife, a couple of friends and several facebook friends who actually encouraged me to write a book. They think I'm funny but some of my latest blogs have covered some rather somber topics. In my spare time, I run the local SU alumni club. I'm in the 9th year of a 3 year term or as us SU grads called "fuzzy math." I'm SU '82, wife is SU '83, daughter is SU '11, son is SU '14, even my nephew goes to SU. So yes, we bleed Orange. I like to play golf, watch the same movies over and over, and take long walks with my dog on the trails in South Mountain Reservation behind Old Short Hills. If you see a guy wearing something with an SU logo chasing after a dog named Cosmo, that's me!
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