Ew de cologne

On my list of people I don’t want to be anywhere near is the person who wears too much perfume or cologne.  It’s up there right after the person with really bad body odor, just a completely different offense on the olfactory.

Last week, I was in the city for part of the day. It was hot, it was humid, it was sticky and some of the people really reeked but not because it was hot, humid and sticky…it was because they poured the whole dam bottle of whatever it is they wear all over themselves. Dude, it says a little splash not a little bath!

I remember when my son and his friends reached the age where they started wearing cologne. Everyone of them wore Axe (stink-a-roo) and everyone one of them used way more than a splash. When one particular young man was in our car (no names, no names) it took a week to get the smell out. You’d have thought he spilled the whole bottle on himself while he was sitting in our car.  It could be the dead of winter, 10 degrees out, snow blowing in all directions and I had my window open. It was either that or drive blindly as the tears rolled down my cheeks from the stench.

Those boys had an excuse. They were young, they had raging hormones and they had no sense of good taste (or sense of smell apparently). But when you are an adult and you are supposed to have some sort of refinement, I don’t think you want to be walking around smelling like the inside of a taxi cab that has one too many of those scented cardboard trees dangling from the rear view mirror. Just because you are wearing expensive cologne or perfume, doesn’t mean you need to let the whole damn world know about it!

Ladies and gentleman of all ages, here’s my advice. When it comes to how much perfume or cologne you think you should be wearing, a small splash or mistful will do. Remember, the nose you save maybe your own.

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About IraSez

I am the owner of Monarch Communications, a graphic design/advertising/website design firm in Millburn, NJ. You can take a look at some of our work at www.MonComInc.com I started IraSez at the urging of my wife, a couple of friends and several facebook friends who actually encouraged me to write a book. They think I'm funny but some of my latest blogs have covered some rather somber topics. In my spare time, I run the local SU alumni club. I'm in the 9th year of a 3 year term or as us SU grads called "fuzzy math." I'm SU '82, wife is SU '83, daughter is SU '11, son is SU '14, even my nephew goes to SU. So yes, we bleed Orange. I like to play golf, watch the same movies over and over, and take long walks with my dog on the trails in South Mountain Reservation behind Old Short Hills. If you see a guy wearing something with an SU logo chasing after a dog named Cosmo, that's me!
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One Response to Ew de cologne

  1. Melinda says:

    Okay…it’s not even the cologne. It’s the “earthy crunchy” musk scent that’s going to put me down. And, you all know what I’m talking about. Who in their right mind is attracted to that?!

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