Lindsay Lohan is in the news again and would somebody please tell me why? Why? Why? Why? Seems she had an interesting manicure but I wish she would just go away, never to be heard from again. I’m not talking about 90 days in jail or rehab or wherever. Lindsay, you were cute once, almost made the transition from child star to adult actress but you completely screwed that up…more than once.
Now go off on your latest stint to attempt to put your nut house in order. Personally, I don’t think 90 days will do it. I think you need several months doing hard time. But don’t fret, I have drawn up a list of a few other wannabe or used to be celebrities that I wish would just go away and I think you should have their company.
First, please take Paris Hilton. Oh my f’in’ god has any one person got more press for having no talent and no redeeming values whatsoever (and sex tapes don’t count). Yes Paris you have lots and lots of money but if there were ever any example of the statement that money doesn’t buy you class, you are the walking and talking example of that one. You may have brains but, if you do, would be nice to put those on display every once in-a-while cuz we all think you used them for implants.
Speaking of implants, just when I thought we had heard the last of Carrie Prejean, there she is again. Just because she’s getting married? Who gives a shit. Girl is a complete whack job, even Donald figured that out and I don’t think he has an advanced degree in human behavior. Carrie, you had your shot and blew it (is that a pun?). Why anyone cares that you just got married is beyond me. Just shows that being a big loser doesn’t necessarily mean your 15 minutes are over. Imagine if you had just gone on to the Miss America pageant, without all the hoopla and the controversy, and lost like 48 other young ladies. We would have never heard from you again. Would have been so nice.
Now comes the big one…or the big ones as the case may be. Heidi Montag pack your bags, go away and never ever come back. I actually think that celebrity bimbettes who pride themselves on their status as bimbettes think you have completely lost your friggin’ mind, if you even had one to start. 10 plastic surgeries in one day? I’d ask what were you thinking but as I’m pretty sure you had no brains to start, that would be a silly question. And you actually think you are going to make it as an action adventure star in Hollywood. HOLY SHIT! I don’t think Angelina has anything to worry about when it comes to you replacing her.
Lindsay, I hope you like your new entourage. I tried thinking of a man to add the list but than I remembered that you’ve lost your taste for male companionship. Come to think of it, whatever “taste” you once had has pretty much gone bye, bye and we all wish you would just do the same.