Carry on luggage and carried baggage

Thanks to the promotional efforts of my wife, hopefully the flight attendant crew from Friday’s Continental Airlines flight #754 to Florida is reading this. If you are, thanks for a good flight but it wasn’t easy, was it? Yes folks, it’s another blog post regarding air travel.

First, I am happy to report that I made it through security without a problem. Seems the FAA has forgotten about my matches indiscretion or at least didn’t want to be bothered with it. Too bad, I was kind of hoping for a little action in the security area.

Second, as seems to be the rules these days, there was not enough space in the overhead bins for the carry on luggage. If there is an enterprising luggage designer out there, might I suggest you come up with a smaller piece of carry on luggage and convince the airlines that yours should be the new standard. And if the airlines are listening, you really need to figure out a way to strictly enforce the one piece in the overhead bin rule and the size restrictions, if for no other reason than to save your flight attendants the aggravation of having to deal with this issue.

I’m beginning to feel like boarding a plane is akin to the longisland expressway at rush hour and that there should be big display boards telling passengers how long the back-up is on the ramp leading from the gate to the plane.  Some time soon there is going to be a massive fight on a flight over this. Honestly, I thought there might be one on our flight when one passenger insisted in jamming his luggage into the last piece of space left in the overhead bin. I don’t think the gentleman sitting underneath that bin really appreciated his efforts, which took about 5 minutes. I’m waiting for the flight when a moment like this will come to blows. I only hope I’m there to tell everyone about it.

Speaking of size restrictions, holy shit you had to see the guy sitting in 31C. He carried his baggage from his neck down around his waist and down below his balls…and no, I’m not exaggerating. His gut came within 2 or 3 inches of the seat in front of him…and no, I’m not exaggerating. When he stood up, you couldn’t see his belt (if he was wearing one) or waistline…and no, I’m not exaggerating. I didn’t see him walking off the plane but I’m not sure how he fit down the aisle…and no…well, you get the point.

If I had been in the seat next to him, it would have been him or me. I have flown in the same row with some pretty hefty follows before but I don’t think this guy would have fit comfortably in a first class seat. I know Southworst Airlines has some sort of size restriction. After seeing this one, I just think the FAA needs to develop some sort of industry standard that if you are over a certain size, you need to have more than one seat. And don’t leave it to the flight attendants to make this call. When a 300+ pound passenger checks in or goes through security, have the TSA of FAA deal with it. Make it a safety issue because it is. I wonder if they take these types of situations into account when figuring out the load factor on the plane?

So now all you folks who feel sorry for folks with obesity issues can have at me. I don’t really really give a shit. What this guy put the person next to him through is just inhumane and I really don’t know one person who would have been comfortable sitting next to him. I know there have been skirmishes over these situations on planes before and you can’t really expect the flight attendants to have to deal with this. It’s bad enough they have to put up with the averaged size traveling asshole but when it comes supersized, that’s just not a fair fight.

If our flight crew is reading this, please post your comments and thanks for the inspiration. The next time some unruly passenger gets out of hand, I hope there’s room in the overhead bins so you can stuff them in their for the duration, as long as it’s not the guy in 31C.

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About IraSez

I am the owner of Monarch Communications, a graphic design/advertising/website design firm in Millburn, NJ. You can take a look at some of our work at www.MonComInc.com I started IraSez at the urging of my wife, a couple of friends and several facebook friends who actually encouraged me to write a book. They think I'm funny but some of my latest blogs have covered some rather somber topics. In my spare time, I run the local SU alumni club. I'm in the 9th year of a 3 year term or as us SU grads called "fuzzy math." I'm SU '82, wife is SU '83, daughter is SU '11, son is SU '14, even my nephew goes to SU. So yes, we bleed Orange. I like to play golf, watch the same movies over and over, and take long walks with my dog on the trails in South Mountain Reservation behind Old Short Hills. If you see a guy wearing something with an SU logo chasing after a dog named Cosmo, that's me!
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5 Responses to Carry on luggage and carried baggage

  1. lizzie says:

    ok, I’ll bite… was there anyone seated next to this man???

  2. irasez says:

    At first, Allie was in 31A but the man in the middle seat asked her to switch with his wife. At least Allie wasn’t next to this guy.

  3. Alicia says:

    One time I was on a plane to florida. I got a seat in the LAST row of the entire plane, where there was NO window. I was IN BETWEEN two obese men. Their fat rolls were wandering over my arm handles and I had no room to breathe. On top of that catrastrophe, they snored the entire ride to florida from NJ. Worst plane fligh in my entire life. I feel your pain.

  4. julianne says:

    George Carlin would be proud of your airline scenario! Me, I just continue to LOL =)

  5. julianne says:

    P.S. It’s “catch up on Irasez day” pour moi 🙂

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