In a recent post, I bemoaned the fact that my face is showing a few more wrinkles than I’d like to see or admit to having. In a strange twist of karma or fate or latent adolescence, the next day a pimple magically appeared. Nice big whitehead on the side of a nostril, which I popped and squeezed dry (as I write this, Linda is completely grossed out).
Next day, another one, another yesterday and another one this morning, all right on my upper lip. These were not quite the whoppers the first one was but still has me thinking what the hell is going on? Am I regressing? Eating badly? Early (very early) symptoms of male menopause? Do you get pimples when you go through menopause? Is there really such a thing as a male menopause? But I digress.
You’d figure that once all those monthly mail solicitations telling me that it was time for me to join the AARP started coming I’d be past the pimple stage but noooooo! The pimples must not be opening my mail. Besides, isn’t having pimples and being a member of the AARP some sort of oxymoron or reason for membership disqualification?
Speaking of the AARP, these folks must really want me to join and I especially love the call to action each membership solicitation contains. I got my first AARP membership enrollment form last winter, a month or two before the big 5-0. Since than, I get one a month like clockwork. Each one telling me “Join now before the 15th of the next month” or I won’t be able to get all those special discounts and privileges they keep promising and which I’m pretty sure I get with my AAA membership. When I don’t join, viola…another letter magically appears offering me the same thing. Obviously the direct mail folks at the AARP think senility kicks in the day you turn 50 and the potential members don’t recognize the repetitive and redundant nature of these letters. Why else would they send me the same thing every month?
As I have said before, I really don’t feel 50 (most of the time) and I can’t quite bring myself to cave to one of the AARPs offers to join. It would be like throwing in the towel against the daily battle not to act my age, which I proudly never have. So the next time I get one of these solicitations, I’m just going to wait for the next big pimple, pop it right on the application, put it in the return envelope, send it back to the AARP and tell them a guy with my complexion (facial and emotional) really isn’t ready to sign-up.