Mumbai calling

For what has to be the 5 or 6th time in the last few weeks, I got a call from some telemarketing type person claiming to be from Not to be confused with the seemingly endless calls from,, or

I honestly think all these calls are coming from one central calling station somewhere in the middle of India. We’ve all heard the stories of how companies go into India, set-up call service centers, teach the locals English and even attempt to make them sound line an American. Well, with the economy being what it is, I think American accent training has gone right out the window and has landed in some 3rd world sewage system because these folks are barely understandable. When I get these types of calls, I feel like I’m talking to a NYC cab driver and the only thing missing is the really bad incense crap they use…that and music that sounds like something out of a far eastern funeral procession.

If they call and ask specifically for me, I give them an easy test – properly pronounce my name. When they fail miserably after 3 attemps, I say thank you and end the call. If they get close, I say thank you and transfer them into my voice mail, ending the call. I have seriously lost my patience for these people.

My other favorite phone calls are robo-calls, especially from the travel services trying to sell me a cruise. The phone rings, I pick it up and then I hear that god awful blllllaaaaaarrrreeee (y’know, the sound a ocean liner makes when it blows it’s stack). Does anybody really pay any attention to those calls? Listen after the sound effect? Press 1 for more options? Book a cruise through these people? If you answered yes to any of those questions let me know because I just…that’s all I can think of to say is I just…because I just wouldn’t know what to say to you.

As I was writing this, the phone rang and the robo-voice on the other end of the phone says “Please press 1 to update your google411 listing.” Google411? What the hell is that? Now what I’d really like to hear is a robo-call with a really bad American accent. At least that would be something new.


About IraSez

I am the owner of Monarch Communications, a graphic design/advertising/website design firm in Millburn, NJ. You can take a look at some of our work at I started IraSez at the urging of my wife, a couple of friends and several facebook friends who actually encouraged me to write a book. They think I'm funny but some of my latest blogs have covered some rather somber topics. In my spare time, I run the local SU alumni club. I'm in the 9th year of a 3 year term or as us SU grads called "fuzzy math." I'm SU '82, wife is SU '83, daughter is SU '11, son is SU '14, even my nephew goes to SU. So yes, we bleed Orange. I like to play golf, watch the same movies over and over, and take long walks with my dog on the trails in South Mountain Reservation behind Old Short Hills. If you see a guy wearing something with an SU logo chasing after a dog named Cosmo, that's me!
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One Response to Mumbai calling

  1. daileyplanet says:

    Loved “As Far As You Know”-

    I wrote a blog thanks to you Ira- check it out at daileyplanet (yep, dailey with an “e”.)

    Billy R

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