Today Linda and I celebrate 25 years of marriage but we nearly didn’t make it through the first week of our honeymoon and here is why. Let me start by saying that, for the most part, my wife is a major low maintenance operation. For example, she would rather spend money fixing up our house than on herself or on material things. She was that way when I met her and it was one of the many reasons that I fell in love with her.
With that said, we now turn to day June 12, 1985, day 3 of marriage. We awoke to a wonderful breakfast on the balcony of our hotel room overlooking the Arno in Florence, Italy. Linda was giddy with excitement as she had her list of places to shop and in 1985, prices in Italy were really good. First we hit Parri’s Leather. Parri’s was like a discounted Bottega Venetta as it was owned by a former BV employee who used all the same goods and designs but not the same prices. A friend of my in-laws knew one of the sales people and told us to ask for this lady. We walk in and Linda goes shopping. Pocket books, wallets, leather skirt and jacket. I buy a wallet.
On to the Modava glove factory outlet where Linda goes shopping. At Modava, you walk up to doorway counter, tell them size, color and lining. They have labels of all the major department stores hanging up as they are a major supplier. Linda buys black gloves, brown gloves, red gloves, cashmere lined gloves, rabbit lined gloves. She buys 8, 9, 10 (I lost count) pairs of gloves for herself, gloves for her mother, her sister, her aunt, the doorman…I have no idea what the hell is going on. Oh, I get a pair of gloves.
Are we done yet? Not on your life. On the way back to the hotel to drop off the morning haul, we pass a shoe store and Linda just has to “look.” Fortunately, she can’t find anything to her liking and I think I’m getting out unscathed. Unfortunately, Linda tells the salesperson she is really looking for boots. Just so happens they just took those off display but have no fear, they’ve got boots here, so Linda goes shopping. Holy shit…4 pairs of boots. None for me.
One morning in Florence and we…and by we I mean Linda…has completely used up all the cash and traveler’s cheques we brought with us for our honeymoon. I collapse in the hotel room and I must have looked like I was about to go into shock (because I was), when Linda asks “what’s wrong?” I essentially look at her and say “who are you and what have you done with my wife?” probably sounding like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown (because I was).
But the honeymoon went on and the marriage survived. We discovered Univeral Turismo, where you can get more Traveler’s Cheques. I recovered from my shock and that shopping version of my wife has rarely (maybe never) been seen again. I even managed to smile my way through Fendi in Rome.
So Linda, on our 25th wedding anniversary, I want to say that I love you now as much as I did on that day in Florence. You are a wonderful wife, friend, companion, mother. You make me laugh and smile everyday with your “Lindaisms” even when you don’t know why the kids and I think these things are funny. Someday soon, I hope we can return to Florence so that you can replenish your supply of leather goods, gloves, boots, etc. I promise not to go into shock as long as you promise to give me a Xanex before we go shopping.