Yes folks, there is now scientific proof that you can burn calories and develop that finely toned body just by jerking off. Don’t believe me? Well, check this out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2W0FfkaIEXE
And for you women: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwIJlEsIVZQ
This is so great, I can’t contain myself. I just walked in from from the gym with Linda and Allie. While I was on the treadmill, up pops the Shake Weight for Man commercial. I don’t have the sound on but the commercial is quite compelling. An extremely buff guy is using a dumb bell with a spring mechanism attached to it to jerk off. Backing up this claim is graphs, stats, etc., all proving that this contraption can give you the perfect body in a 6 minute workout. If you don’t recognize the motion, go back to the monastery you crawled out from under because some company is basically telling you that masturbation is the next great craze in exercise!
On the way home, I mention that I just saw this piece of fitness equipment that proves what men have been trying to tell women for years: Jerking off is exercise. Allie bursts out laughing telling us she has seen the same commercial but it’s the female version. Female version?!?!?! This is better than I ever imagined. Not only are they telling men to jerk off but they are telling women to help. How cool is that?
You want my recommendation? Go buy a 5 or 10 pound dumb bell and a bottle of your favorite skin lubrication. Put the dumb bell in one hand, lube up the other and…well, use your imagination (but not on the dumb bell).