Losing weight while jerking off

Yes folks, there is now scientific proof that you can burn calories and develop that finely toned body just by jerking off.  Don’t believe me?  Well, check this out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2W0FfkaIEXE

And for you women: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwIJlEsIVZQ

This is so great, I can’t contain myself. I just walked in from from the gym with Linda and Allie. While I was on the treadmill, up pops the Shake Weight for Man commercial. I don’t have the sound on but the commercial is quite compelling. An extremely buff guy is using a dumb bell with a spring mechanism attached to it to jerk off.  Backing up this claim is graphs, stats, etc., all proving that this contraption can give you the perfect body in a 6 minute workout. If you don’t recognize the motion, go back to the monastery you crawled out from under because some company is basically telling you that masturbation is the next great craze in exercise!

On the way home, I mention that I just saw this piece of fitness equipment that proves what men have been trying to tell women for years: Jerking off is exercise. Allie bursts out laughing telling us she has seen the same commercial but it’s the female version. Female version?!?!?! This is better than I ever imagined. Not only are they telling men to jerk off but they are telling women to help. How cool is that?

You want my recommendation?  Go buy a 5 or 10 pound dumb bell and a bottle of your favorite skin lubrication. Put the dumb bell in one hand, lube up the other and…well, use your imagination (but not on the dumb bell).


About IraSez

I am the owner of Monarch Communications, a graphic design/advertising/website design firm in Millburn, NJ. You can take a look at some of our work at www.MonComInc.com I started IraSez at the urging of my wife, a couple of friends and several facebook friends who actually encouraged me to write a book. They think I'm funny but some of my latest blogs have covered some rather somber topics. In my spare time, I run the local SU alumni club. I'm in the 9th year of a 3 year term or as us SU grads called "fuzzy math." I'm SU '82, wife is SU '83, daughter is SU '11, son is SU '14, even my nephew goes to SU. So yes, we bleed Orange. I like to play golf, watch the same movies over and over, and take long walks with my dog on the trails in South Mountain Reservation behind Old Short Hills. If you see a guy wearing something with an SU logo chasing after a dog named Cosmo, that's me!
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3 Responses to Losing weight while jerking off

  1. lizzie says:

    Actually, Fitness Magazine rated this product very well. I never put it together-what a surprise. Now I know my Father’s Day present for Larry.

  2. Artie says:

    I thought you were just kidding about this product…….if my gym bought this product thier membership would triple just on the entertainment value.

  3. Pingback: Do You Really Need an Ear Vacuum? | IraSez

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