Today on Millburn Avenue

Somedays you don’t have to go very far to get a good laugh. Actually, most days I walk out of my office and I see things that make me laugh out loud.  Today was no exception.

This morning I was on my way back from one of my vendors when I noticed a woman with her rear end sticking out of her car as she tried to deal with her child and a car seat. Unfortunately for this woman, her blue jeans had managed to creep half-way down her ass so that she was showing off some major butt crack. Not like I was looking for it but it was right there in front, very hard to miss.  And she was wearing a thong which looked like it had seen better days. Also, right there in front of me. So what was I supposed to do? Ignore it?  No, I knew had to observe so I could tell everyone about it.

Now we have all heard the obvious plumber butt crack references but this a unique viewing opportunity. Young suburban mom in affluent town showing off her wears for all passerbys to see.  Looking back at it now, I only wish I had given her a wedgie.


About IraSez

I am the owner of Monarch Communications, a graphic design/advertising/website design firm in Millburn, NJ. You can take a look at some of our work at I started IraSez at the urging of my wife, a couple of friends and several facebook friends who actually encouraged me to write a book. They think I'm funny but some of my latest blogs have covered some rather somber topics. In my spare time, I run the local SU alumni club. I'm in the 9th year of a 3 year term or as us SU grads called "fuzzy math." I'm SU '82, wife is SU '83, daughter is SU '11, son is SU '14, even my nephew goes to SU. So yes, we bleed Orange. I like to play golf, watch the same movies over and over, and take long walks with my dog on the trails in South Mountain Reservation behind Old Short Hills. If you see a guy wearing something with an SU logo chasing after a dog named Cosmo, that's me!
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7 Responses to Today on Millburn Avenue

  1. lizzie says:

    ok- I can make so many comments here. Firstly, I don’t wear thongs cause I don’t get the butt wedgie thing. Secondly, it’s not just young women wearing them, cellulite filled old-women love to show them off. My pet peave is seeing them on women through their workout pants-yuck. What’s worse than sticky wet workouts clothes? I’ll tell you what- looking at females with thong wedgies while working out!!! Why do men like to look at them?? I sure wouldn’t want to see a man with a string in his butt, why do men want to see a woman in that? I don’t get it!! Will someone explain?! I get some fashion fads, this one I just don’t. Poor Larry!!!! not

  2. Jed says:

    In my family, when that happens, we like to point that “crack kills.”

  3. Lauren says:

    I am officially scared of Millburn.

  4. Melinda says:

    If she was wearing a thong, she already had a wedgie. You obviously have never worn a pair. Go for it and report back to us!

  5. Syracuse Linda says:

    And people wonder where the ideas for shows like “Jersey Shore” and Housewives of NJ” come from? Was she getting her child into an upscale SUV, like an Escalade? Maybe there is a reality show in your future, Ira.

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